My amazing nine year old daughter Emma sang in chapel with her good friend Grace Ann. They sang "Firework" by Katy Perry. I think I may have been even more nervous than she was. I just wanted her to be happy with herself, proud of herself, to gain a small glimpse into the magic that is Emma. Just seeing her get up in front of her school . . . wow! She did it . . . in front of her school, her grandmother, and her grandfather (both with tears in their eyes). With a beautiful little voice my scared little girl and her friend sang . . .
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag,
Drifting through the wind
Wanting to start again?
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards,
One blow from caving in?
Do you ever feel already buried deep?
6 feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that there's still a chance for you
'Cause there's a spark in you
You just gotta ignite the light, and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July
'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y
Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colours burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"
You're gonna leave 'em all in "awe, awe, awe"
. . .
I could not help thinking of that quiet little girl I first held in Russia almost 9 years ago. She did not smile easily. She was so serious . . . so reticent. She had almost lost her light -- that spark that God gives each child. That light that gives hope for our future and joy to our lives.
I also can't help but think of a another little girl, we will call her Kathy. Her mother was not ready to be a mother, but she was guilted into parenting, forced into parenting -- by her family. They had to protect "their blood" . . . their genetic material. Kathy's mother made her bed . . . she must lie in it. Kathy's mother had to "step up to the plate."
So, Kathy has enough to eat and she is adequately dressed. But, her mother, who struggles everyday, cannot delight in her. There is no time for tickles and giggles. While she tries her best, Kathy's mother, who does love her, still does not want to be a mother. And the family who insisted she parent, is little to no help.
I suspect (hope) Kathy's physical safety will never be an issue. But each day, her light will dim just a little bit more, until it is so far gone, that it cannot be ignited . . . her colors will not burst . . . she will not shoot across the sky.
CPS will (hopefully) protect her physical safety, the family protected "their blood" . . . But who protects her light?
Showing posts with label west texas adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label west texas adoption. Show all posts
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Homestudy -- Maximizing your Net Worth
Alright, so you have started the homestudy
process. Odds are your agency has given you a packet of information to complete
as well as a library of documents to collect. Please note, the agency that
completes your homestudy may or may not be your "placing" agency, ie the agency
that "places" a child in your home. However, make certain whichever agency you
choose for the homestudy is acceptable to your placing agency. Some states and
some countries have restrictions on the qualifications of the agency and/or the
credentials of the individual conducting the homestudy. For example, China
requires that the homestudy agency (not just the placing agency) be Hague
Accredited, and the State of Connecticut has a short approval process required
for out of state agencies involved in some interstate adoptions. There are
other idiosyncrasies involved in other adoptions, so check with your placing
agency. You do not want to pay for two homestudies.
Generally you will be producing the following:
1. Financial documents, including tax returns and employment verifications;
If you are self employed, you will need to have your accountant or bookkeeper prepare the verification. Be sure to instruct him or her to add back your depreciation and other like expenses. You need your income to be calculated in a manner which would be comparable to a person with who is not self employed. Otherwise, as most self employed people work to expenses as much as possible, it will appear that you do not have sufficient income to raise a(nother) child. This method is perfectly acceptable so long as you make certain that you retain a record of how your accountant arrived at the final number. If you are employed and recieve bounses, include those in your employment verification. If you need to, ask your HR department to average the last few years to come up with a prediction of future bonuses.
2. You will likely be asked to prepare a financial statement. This too can be a bit overwhelming for some. If you own a home, it is likely your largest asset. You will want to accurately maximize the value of the asset. If you do not have a recent appraisal, then look at your latest tax appraisal. If you live in an area with significantly below value tax appraisals, then contact a realtor for a market analysis or just check with local Realtors for information regarding sales in your area of similar homes. Again, be sure to document how you arrived at the value listed. The key is to make certain your number is reasonable.
Many people forget to include the contents of their home as an asset on their financial statement. One way to arrive at that number is to contact your insurance agent and ask how much the contents of your home are insured for at the time of the homestudy. Depending on the condition of the contents, you may want to use a percentage of that number. Again, keep a record of how you arrived at the value.
For vehicles values, utilize the Internet. Finally, do not forget the cash value of life insurance, annuities, retirement accounts, college funds, etc. Your goal is the legitimately maximize your net worth. Just be reasonable, and document, document, document.
Generally you will be producing the following:
1. Financial documents, including tax returns and employment verifications;
If you are self employed, you will need to have your accountant or bookkeeper prepare the verification. Be sure to instruct him or her to add back your depreciation and other like expenses. You need your income to be calculated in a manner which would be comparable to a person with who is not self employed. Otherwise, as most self employed people work to expenses as much as possible, it will appear that you do not have sufficient income to raise a(nother) child. This method is perfectly acceptable so long as you make certain that you retain a record of how your accountant arrived at the final number. If you are employed and recieve bounses, include those in your employment verification. If you need to, ask your HR department to average the last few years to come up with a prediction of future bonuses.
2. You will likely be asked to prepare a financial statement. This too can be a bit overwhelming for some. If you own a home, it is likely your largest asset. You will want to accurately maximize the value of the asset. If you do not have a recent appraisal, then look at your latest tax appraisal. If you live in an area with significantly below value tax appraisals, then contact a realtor for a market analysis or just check with local Realtors for information regarding sales in your area of similar homes. Again, be sure to document how you arrived at the value listed. The key is to make certain your number is reasonable.
Many people forget to include the contents of their home as an asset on their financial statement. One way to arrive at that number is to contact your insurance agent and ask how much the contents of your home are insured for at the time of the homestudy. Depending on the condition of the contents, you may want to use a percentage of that number. Again, keep a record of how you arrived at the value.
For vehicles values, utilize the Internet. Finally, do not forget the cash value of life insurance, annuities, retirement accounts, college funds, etc. Your goal is the legitimately maximize your net worth. Just be reasonable, and document, document, document.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Oh No!!! The Homestudy!
You keep hearing that you need a homestudy -- but what is that? You may have also heard it called a pre-placement interview, report, or study. It usually starts with the collection of documentation. There are some differences between types of homestudies. Some countries have specific requirements. Each state has difference requirements. However, most differences come down to things like form and number of visits. For the purposes of this entry, I am going to be somewhat generic.
First and foremost, the homestudy process, while cumbersome, should not be frightening. I say that, but when I had my first homestudy, I followed the social worker through my house with a voice screaming in my head "this woman can tell me I can't have a baby -- this woman can tell me I can't have a baby . . . . . ). Of course, that did not happen.
Know this, homestudies are not pass/fail. Instead they are an opportunity for the social worker to get to know you and your circumstances. At the same time, he or she will be educating you about adoption and helping you to have realistic expectation regarding the process. This is a wonderful time to ask questions.
Sometimes, however, you may have something in your past that you are concerned might adversely impact your ability to adopt. While it might be tempting to hide that issue, by doing so, you could be endangering your adoption. While each country has specific requirements and certain issues might keep you from adopting from certain countries, there are very few things that will keep you from adopting completely. However, dishonesty on your application is one of those things.
If you have concerns, talk to the agency before you start the adoption process. Most agencies will gladly tell you whether a particular issue will keep you from adopting through that agency. If you are told that you cannot adopt, be sure and ask if the prohibition is a country requirement, state requirement, or agency requirement.
For instance, some agencies restrict the number of divorces while other agencies are more lenient based on explanation of circumstances. Some agencies will not place children with single people or people with some heath problems, while others will look to the extended family and contingency plan in case of severe illness. Additionally, you may have a conviction of some type. Many times the age of the conviction is very important as to whether it will impact your ability to adopt. So ask. If you just need to wait a year or so, you can do so.
Most importantly, you do not want a "failed" homestudy. Each agency must list in the homestudy whether a person/couple has ever failed a homestudy. If there is going to be a problem find out before hand so you can change agencies, change countries, or wait.
More on the specific process next time.
First and foremost, the homestudy process, while cumbersome, should not be frightening. I say that, but when I had my first homestudy, I followed the social worker through my house with a voice screaming in my head "this woman can tell me I can't have a baby -- this woman can tell me I can't have a baby . . . . . ). Of course, that did not happen.
Know this, homestudies are not pass/fail. Instead they are an opportunity for the social worker to get to know you and your circumstances. At the same time, he or she will be educating you about adoption and helping you to have realistic expectation regarding the process. This is a wonderful time to ask questions.
Sometimes, however, you may have something in your past that you are concerned might adversely impact your ability to adopt. While it might be tempting to hide that issue, by doing so, you could be endangering your adoption. While each country has specific requirements and certain issues might keep you from adopting from certain countries, there are very few things that will keep you from adopting completely. However, dishonesty on your application is one of those things.
If you have concerns, talk to the agency before you start the adoption process. Most agencies will gladly tell you whether a particular issue will keep you from adopting through that agency. If you are told that you cannot adopt, be sure and ask if the prohibition is a country requirement, state requirement, or agency requirement.
For instance, some agencies restrict the number of divorces while other agencies are more lenient based on explanation of circumstances. Some agencies will not place children with single people or people with some heath problems, while others will look to the extended family and contingency plan in case of severe illness. Additionally, you may have a conviction of some type. Many times the age of the conviction is very important as to whether it will impact your ability to adopt. So ask. If you just need to wait a year or so, you can do so.
Most importantly, you do not want a "failed" homestudy. Each agency must list in the homestudy whether a person/couple has ever failed a homestudy. If there is going to be a problem find out before hand so you can change agencies, change countries, or wait.
More on the specific process next time.
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